Alright folks, let’s talk about yo mama jokes. Now, before we begin, we want to make one thing perfectly clear, we have nothing against your mother. We’ve never met the woman, but she sounds like a pretty cool person, maybe even a saint. All of the jokes you’re about to read are in no way, shape or form about your beloved mom, who is beyond reproach and the best human being who ever existed. To be honest, we’re not even sure why we’re publishing all of these yo mama jokes.
If you ask us, these kinds of yo mama jokes are old, cheap, and overused. But hey, who are we to judge? We’re just here to have a good time, and if yo mama jokes are your thing, then we’re all for it!
So, let’s get down to business. Are you ready for a wild and crazy adventure into the world of yo mama jokes? Buckle up, because we’ve got a whole bunch of them, sorted by every category you could possibly want. Share them at your own risk, and if yo mama asks, no, we weren’t talking about her. But let’s be real, she probably already knows.
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Now, we know that some of you might be feeling a little hesitant about telling yo mama jokes, and that’s completely understandable. But let’s not forget, a sense of humour is an important aspect of a happy life. And who says you can’t have a good time while also being respectful and responsible? So, go ahead, let loose, and have a blast with these jokes. Just remember to use them wisely and never intend harm toward someone.
So, are you ready to join us on this wild and hilarious journey? Let’s go!
Best Yo mama so fat jokes
1. Yo mama so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, they ask her if she wants the buffet.
2. Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the tide comes in.
3. Yo mama so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
4. Yo mama so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell “taxi!”
5. Yo mama so fat, when she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
6. Yo mama so fat, she’s got her own area code!
7. Yo mama so fat, when she steps on a scale, it read “one at a time, please”
8. Yo mama so fat, and old, that when God said “Let there be light,” he was just asking her to move out of the way.
9. Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everybody.
10. Yo mama so fat, when she steps on a scale, it read “to be continued”
11. Yo mama so fat, when she steps on a scale, it read “We don’t do livestock”
12. Yo mama so fat, when she steps on a scale, it read “sorry we don’t do elephant”
13. Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV I missed three episodes.
14. Yo mama so fat, she left in high heels and came back in flip flops
15. Yo Momma so fat, she lays in the driveway to put on her underwear.
16. Yo mama so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her as a new world.
17. Yo mama so fat, she has to use a boomerang to put on her belt.
18Yo mama so fat, she takes posters not pictures.
19. Yo mama so fat, she could sell shade.
20. Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.
12. Yo mama so fat, she gets group insurance!
22. Yo mama so fat, when she steps on a scale, it read “I need your weight, not your phone number”
23. Yo mama so fat, even Dora can’t explore her.
24. Yo mama so fat, when she crossed the road people mistook her for a roundabout.
25. Yo mama so fat, when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th.
Best Yo mama so ugly jokes
27. Yo momma so ugly, she got a cease and decist letter from Sear’s photography.
28. Yo momma so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
29. Yo Mamma so ugly, she makes blind children cry.
30. Yo mama so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.
31. Yo mamma is so ugly, when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, “Sorry, no professionals.”
32. Your momma is so ugly, she made One Direction go another direction.
33. Yo mamma is so ugly, when she took a bath the water jumped out.
36. Yo mama is so ugly, she walked in a restaurant the grade from the health inspector went from an A to a Z.
37. Yo mamas so ugly, people think that you and her are twins!
38. Yo mama so ugly, she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Hilarious Yo mama so old jokes
39. Yo momma so old, that archaeologists found ancient pottery in her vagina
40. Yo mama so old, her birth certificate is written in Roman numerals.
41. Yo mama so old, they moved her out of the retirement home and in to the museum.
42. Yo mama’s so old, she farts dust Yo mama’s so old, her birthcertificate expired.
43. Yo mama is so old, that the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
44. Yo momma so old, she knows which Testament is more accurate.
45. Yo mama is so old, that she’s mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible.
46. Yo mama’s so old, when she breast feeds, people mistake her for a fog machine.
47. Yo mamma’s so old, she dated George Washington in high school.
48. Yo mama’s so old, when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
49. Yo mama is so old, her first pet was a TRex
50. Yo mama’s so old, she cowrote the Ten Commandments.
51. Yo mama so old, she has to oil all her joints with WD-40.
52. Yo mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
43. Yo mama is so old, that she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Best Yo mama so stupid jokes
54. Yo mama so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, “you forgot the remote”
55. Yo mama is so stupid, that she thought Moby Dick was a sexually transmitted disease.
56. Yo mama so stupid she got hit by a parked car
57. Yo mama so stupid she put two quarters in her ear and said I’m listening to 50 Cent
58. Yo mama so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.
59. Yo mama so dumb, she sold her car to get gasoline money.
60. Yo mama’s so stupid, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.
61. Yo mama is so stupid that she tries to insult you with yo mama jokes.
62. Yo mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin’ Donuts was a basketball team.
63. Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn’t find the “CALL” button.
65. Yo mama is so stupid that the first time she used a vibrator, she cracked her two front teeth.
66. Yo mama so dumb, she thought Twitter was social media for birds.
67. Yo mama is so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W’s.
68. Yo mama is so stupid that when the computer said \”Press any key to continue\”, she couldn’t find the ‘Any’ key.
69. Yo mama so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign and waited all day for it to say go.
70. Yo Mama is so stupid, when they said, “Order in the court,” she asked for fries and a shake.
71. Yo Mamas so stupid she was yelling into the mailbox. We ask her whats she doing and she said, she was sending a voice-mail.
72. Yo momma so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
Yo Mama so stupid, when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends.
73. Yo mama’s so stupid, I saw her jumping up and down, asked what she was doing, and she said she drank a bottle of medicine and forgot to shake it
Best yo mama so poor jokes
75. Yo mama is so poor that she can’t afford to pay attention!
76. Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, “What ya doin’?” She said, “Buying luggage.”
77. Yo momma so poor she runs after a garbage truck with her grocery list!
78. Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk
79. Yo mama so poor I visited her trailer and two cockroaches tripped me and a rat tried to steal my wallet
80. Yo mama so poor, she goes to KFC to lick people’s fingers.
81. Yo mama is so poor that when I saw her walking down the street with one shoe and said “Hey miss, lost a shoe?” she said “Nope, just found one!”
82. Yo mama is so poor that she has to take the trash IN.
83. Yo mama is so poor that I saw her wrestling a squirrel for a peanut.
84. Yo mama is so poor that when I walked inside her house and put out a cigarette, she said “who turned off the heater?”
Best Yo mama so short jokes
85. Yo momma so short when she sticks out her tongue she can clean her snatch
86. Yo mama so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
87. Yo mama is so short that you can see her feet on her drivers license!
88. Yo mama is so short, you can make a life size sculpture of her using one can of Play-Doh.
89. Yo mama so short she makes Asians look like skyscrapers.
90. Yo mama is so short that when she sneezes, she hits her head on the floor.
91. Yo mama so short, she uses piano tiles on iPad as a dance floor.
92. Yo mama so short, she has to jump up her stairs.
93. Yo mama so short, when she went to school, the fat kid couldn’t see her.
94. Yo mama so short she can’t say a thing with out a mirophone!
Ridiculously funny Yo mama jokes
95. Yo Mama’s so fat her car has stretch marks!
96. Yo mama’s so dumb, she called me to ask for my phone number.
97. Yo mama’s so poor she can’t even pay attention.
98. Yo momma’s so delusional that she kicked off a witch trial.
99. Yo momma’s so old that her social security number is 1!
100. Yo mama is so dark that when she goes swimming it looks like an oil spill.
101. Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, “We are family, even though you’re fatter than me.”
102. Yo momma’s so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.
103. Yo momma is so fat when she sat on WalMart, she lowered the prices.
106. Yo mama is so short that when I was dissin’ her she tried to jump kick me in the ankle.
107. Yo mama’s teeth so yellow, I can’t believe it’s not butter.
108. Yo mama is so skinny that her bra fits better when she wears it backwards.
109. Yo mama is so old that she sat next to Jesus in third grade.
110. Yo mama’s so hairy that she’s got sideburns on her tits.
111. Yo mama is so nasty that the fishery pays her to stay away.
112. Yo momma’s so evil that the devil sold his soul to her.
113. Yo momma’s so American that she sued McDonald’s for selling French fries.
114. Yo momma’s eyes are so big that she can see into the future.
115. Yo mama so short she committed suicide by jumping off the curb.
Please note that these jokes are considered as offensive and are not suitable for all audiences. They should be used with caution and with consideration of the audience and context.